I have a great idea for a novel. You know what would make it even better?…
A scene: The Besjian in the Bar
July 5, 2012Posted by on
Except for the sign over the door and the crowd inside, the bar could have been one of the city’s ancient ruins.
A Besjian was talking to Duck in their own language. “Hey, how I’m supposed to eat looking at that flat-faced thing you bring in here, ah?”
“What is he saying?” asked Joshua.
“He’s never seen an alien. Heard how tall you are, doesn’t believe it. Just get up, he’ll go away.”
Joshua pushed his chair back and stood.
The Besjan looked up at Joshua’s chin. “Is he done standing?”
“Well, that’s good.”
“He says he never saw a sword like that. Wants to know what it looks like.”
This short scene is for the Friday Fictioneers flash fiction meme. Every Friday a bunch of online writers write 100 words on a given topic. In this case, the picture above. Then we link and comment on each others’ posts. Check it out here. Links to other peoples’ fiction should start appearing in the Comments to this post as well.
Criticism is invited! Tell me what you think of my prose. How can it be tightened up? I . . . sort of blew out the 100 word limit on this one; sorry!
To read more about the novel in which this scene will be set, look under “The Story” tab at the top. If you’d like to contribute ideas for my book, just drop them into the Comments and I’ll work them in as best I can.